Who is Lili?

I had my first interview today since August. Granted I haven’t been working real hard at applying since October anyway because I wanted to make a crafting life work. This is what I drove it looked like driving down my parents’ street:

I am deciding it was a bad thing. When I got to the restaurant the door wasn’t open so I had to go back to sit in my car and not look like I was early like I like to. But while I was in my car I read a few blog posts on Google Reader and saw this great idea that was floating around. To post about myself and share it in this link party. I can do that.

~~No matter what needs to be said in an interview or for a potential job (or in most other situations either) I just CANNOT tell even a little white lie or stretch the truth to help me get the job. One of the reasons I left my fiancé was because he always told these little lies that he didn’t think was lying, not sure if that is part of the reason I can’t do it. But I also want to be hired for myself, not because I am giving them only what they want. No matter that I know I will be one of their best workers ever because I work hard at whatever it is, even if I don’t really LIKE it.

~I have been unemployed for over a year now. I spent money on a career counselor who told me to accentuate my strengths in my resume and tailor my resume to every job. I have had less interviews since seeing her than I did before. And I still can’t get myself “sold” in an interview. I think that is because I REALLY don’t want to manage another restaurant and I can’t seem to get interviews for anything else (I tell myself this is the reason so I don’t feel like even more of a loser). In the last year I have been close to being offered only 2 jobs (both managing restaurants). I didn’t get the first one because between the time I was supposed to have the face to face interview and it being postponed the company started using this online test for their hopeful hires. I don’t know what it is about this test but I can’t finish the timed multiple choice question part (it’s like an IQ test that has nothing to do with customer service) and I have taken it twice. It makes me feel really stupid that I have taken this and then not been able to get jobs with whomever gives this test. Hyatt, Michael’s and Panera Bread are some of the ones that give it. I have seen some really bad cashiers, who are really rude, come into Michael’s lately and I want to know how they got hired after taking that test. It doesn’t help that I know I am a bad test taker and that I could have had better grades in school if it weren’t for tests and I would be working on my PhD if it weren’t for having to take the GRE. Test anxiety big time.

~~The other job was with a truck stop’s restaurant. It would have meant moving, working in a smoking environment (I can’t stand smoke, and have asthma), and working the overnight shift. I couldn’t stand leaving my son with my parents again. 

~~My younger brother and I were born and raised in New Mexico. He no longer lives here. I have moved away more than once and always come back. The school system here isn’t that great. I worry about my son going to school here. Right now we also have one of the highest unemployment rates. I loved Austin, but my son was living with my parents in New Mexico so I ended up back here.

~Family was everything to me growing up and I always wished I had more siblings. My brother and I weren’t that close, but we are also 3.5 years apart. We were two totally different people, him an athlete that got GOOD grades and me a musical, artistic person that wasn’t popular and couldn’t get the grades I really wanted. I let the fear of school and tests and the ugliness of politics (even in high school in a sports oriented town) make me go back to the easy degree of Elementary Education instead of going into law.

~~I always believed I would marry a great man and have more than 2 children and be a close family that shared everything. I have never been married. My son’s father wouldn’t even acknowledge he was the father, much less take responsibility (long story). My son cries often about not having a dad and his father not wanting him. I met a man in Austin that I was serious with and I did say yes when he purposed. I hated the way he asked me to marry him. I am a hopeless romantic and there was nothing romantic about it. After going from Austin (and quitting my job) to Maryland with him, I ended up leaving him to come home because I didn’t like the way he was handling his daughter’s mental issues, I missed my 2 year old son and I was learning he lied more than just a little bit. I haven’t had a real boyfriend since then.

~~I have a little bit of trust issues because every time I let my guard down I let the wrong guy in and get crushed so I just hide. I don’t put myself out there for the world to meet. Not that I have any idea where to meet anyone anyway. 36 is an awkward age.

~~I feel like I may sound like I am only complaining here but I don’t mean to be.

~That hopeless romantic in me loves to read a good tear jerker, Nicholas Sparks is the best, and watch a good chic flick. Sometimes you just need a good cry, ya know? =)

~~I posted 36 of my favorite things on my birthday, that you can check out (here).

~I have found loads and loads of inspiration through other blogs and I love it. I love that many aren’t afraid to put themselves out there in blogland. And that is why I decided to put myself out there today. 

***I was born 7 weeks premature. Had to have a blood transfusion.
***My initials are AEE, Alicia Elizabeth. I have never really had a nickname but as a young child my brother couldn’t say Alicia and it was more Lili. My mom told me this story when I was in like high school, but it wasn’t until recently that I ever really used it. My niece and nephew call me Aunt Lili and my 4-year-old cousin calls me Cousin Lili. My blog used to be called Lili’s Buzz.
***I have 1 tattoo, which isn't anything these days but the story behind it is a bit funny. I was going off to work for the airline, 6 weeks of training first. I had a going away party and from my house we went dancing. I drank way more than I should have. The next morning I got up and got my back tattoo with a nasty hangover. I had to keep a bandage on it during training because all my skirts and dress pants rubbed on it. I also had to cut out the tags in my undies.
***I have tiny, I mean TINY, pinky toes. And BIG big toes. The toenails on all my little toes are really small. I was born with no toenails.
***My blonde hair is natural and I get asked A LOT if I dye it. I wanted to get my arm pit hair laser removed (and maybe my legs) and I was told they can’t laser blonde hair. They wouldn’t even look.
***I used to be a happy go lucky person that would walk out of work alone, in the dark, at any hour of the night. Then I got robbed at gun point at work, after close. I can’t even leave my back door open in the summer anymore.
***I love to dress up to go out but I HATE high heels.
***I have a HUGE fear of falling, the getting hurt on the landing part. It keeps me from doing certain things but sometime I have to suck it up and climb up on the roof.

 *~*~*~I decided yesterday, after a blotched interview, was probably not the best day to write about myself. But thank you for stopping by to read and let me go on like that =)

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I am linking this up with